"The way the ball bounces.........."

For One last time...i need to let it flow..for the better of the rest of whatever is left of my life.

Fools declare "let love its way",  It shall find its way back, Believe me my friend, Once astray, home never seems home again, Once cut loose, strings never join again. Try you may all ways, means, But the ends still remain split. Don't let loose, all that you have, For once a loss, later a win, makes no difference. For all that matters is the race, Proud we may be of friends and love, Because for one day they will leave, Then we may fathom the length they served, And not by the numbers that remained, That one in the end may be too many too count. Laugh and fumble with the same accuracy, For the fun and pain go hand in hand, Make count the seconds not the days, For the end trickles of in a moment, Then look back and tinkle the final tear. Come today, the distance seems beyond repair, But regret not and repent not, For every time spent worrying, is a moment, Lost in transition, they still stand where they are, Make...

The nights returned to question the darkness, That loomed in me for years, Every passing breeze changed my thoughts, A distraction that was too short lived. Sin, it was, were both played their parts, I held no regret, for it was to be, Ashamed to surrender for thoughts that still, Seem to find no reason of substance. Peers and family loomed around, For it was a choice to be made, I quit and fled without a trace, Yet she stayed as valiant as a warrior. She fought her inner desires, her wishes, Tried again and again, I failed to realize, When I did, I failed to sustain,  For lust guarded the path to the heart. The nights returned today again, asking again, The same questions that was once asked, remained unanswered, Will the winds change my thoughts again? Or have I accepted this final destination – Solitude. Angel, she is, stumbled on a stone on earth, For if she cursed even once, The penance that I may need to pay, Will be ...

To expect is the greatest sin that one may commit and by saying that we are all sinners. I happened to be one among the forerunners in this particular crime and had to learn it the hard way. I punished myself for mistakes that weren’t mine. Yet I did it and still do. The New Year calls for resolutions and biggest one this year is to skip the expectation race. There is still time left for the new year to begin, but as the sun sets today so does my expectations. I will be there at the same place where we left and the next time you get in touch we will start back from there.

The source code for the program has changed.

Is it possible to quantify happiness? The different events that have occurred in my life over the past twenty-six years seem to hold a few cherish-able events. Now the question arises so as to rank them in the order of happiness. I don't seem to have a formula or an equation to project the rank. So is it going to be the day i got my first gift or the first time i topped the class or the first time i fell in love or the first time i felt proud of my achievement or the day when i graduated or when i got my first job. There definitely seems to be a pattern: first, but which out of them still remains a mystery. Repeating and achieving the same feat again and again does not necessarily make you happy, maybe more confident but doing it for the first time surely does. The first always seem to gather attention, the days when i boasted about my first love, first kiss, i surely felt elevated, so did my friends who heard me out(envious though). A la...

I decided. I decided not to tamper with what is there and let the waves flow the way they were meant to be. I am no supreme over others. Everyone has a right and in the integrity of humanity I respect that. I wish that the same emotions be reciprocated.

“I can see the end”, I reassured myself. The white satin and the typical disinfectant smile never helped lift my spirits. It was almost there – Death. I wasn’t afraid of death so I really had no issues with the entire scene. I rerun the seasons of life the same way I used to watch soaps. I was wrong everywhere. “I want to die soon”, I bragged among several others. Some ridiculed it while others envied the thought. Some tried to shake sense into me while others accepted it as my cry for attention. But nonetheless I wanted it so bad, that I tried to write sorrow into my life. I rewrote those hundreds of joyous events into sad disasters. Events where all I had to do was be there for them and I chose not to, so that I can cry over the loss and regret the mistake. Close friends took it as ego while others pitied me, but it worked according to the plan. Some ditched me while others wore silence but everyone expressed their dislike. The first burst of pain bruised the ego and swept...

“Spring blossomed at the foothills of solitude, The caves were lit once again, for the feast, That bid adieu, to the joyous smiles of yesteryear, Invited none, seek none, for once again his soul is above all.”

“Why did he have to do this?”…I kept asking myself desperate to find an answer. Every passing second brought me close to the sign marked “Dead End”. What do I do once I reach there, had I any clue, I wouldn’t have been panting and choking my puff bags with smoke beyond capacity. It was one of those days, the coach was at play, he was near me and he sobbed a sad story. He was waiting for a reply and I couldn’t think of one. I was scared of losing the role, the coveted position that made me realize how much I can be loved and cared, I didn’t want to lose it for not having an answer. “There definitely ought to be a way”, I thought. Then I decided to spin a story. That was day one and boy, did I tell a tale. I conquered and kept conquering the tale till I saw hope in his eyes and till today I have no clue if he believed me. But the tale made no enemies, he returned with a smile assuring me of success. Some still today think that I helped him; not really, to be honest he helped m...

Ahh...the agony of wait will never be over. He sensed the dampness in the air and felt relieved. His purity is being revived. Beyond sight, there lay the faces that once adored his presence. No day passed without words being exchanged and laughs shared. Every day had a story, a new story that none got bored of. The anticipation of a new story exhausted the night and the anxiety of the climax shortened the lumber. Nights seemed short and days too long. The pulse of the rhythm played at night and that of the despair saw the day. It always started out with one which soon increased in count. Time lost track of its seconds and fun crept along for hours. Some bid goodbye and left for abodes of shelter while others shed their clothes to feel the breeze. Some filled their stomachs with food yet others protested their presence. But none could resist the temptation of the gold; they filled their treasures with all they could carry. Friends and foes were made at gold. Hea...

Faded into the backdrop, A cry that once loud, The mirrors seem to reflect, The past that he wishes to ignore.

It wont hold any longer, the smiles can longer be faked, every tear chooses a stream that it wishes to flow tomorrow.

This time i will just do it and not announce and fail.

Every space that we move, has its numbers beyond, every breath that we take, has its essence and sense.   no man has ever let his breath, betray him beyond, i want to betray breath, so, i stand by my own rules.   i need no sympathy, no pity, i need no followers, no peers, i need no advice, no wisdom, i need no understanding, i need life.   have no great sorrows to crib, have no great joys to cheer, i play in the land of illusion, created by sheer passionate soul-mine,   i live like a king in and out, i fear people, i fear people, i fear relations, i fear kins, i stay aloof, i don't understand them.   every tear that i drop, brings smiles to many, though silly there's my soul, that's how i want to live.   there's no need, i need no company, solitude governs my actions, i pray and seek solitude, i wish fate good luck.   i seek death, before it calls, i know it will hurt, many close, but shouldn't i live for what i want, i know my desires live for it. ...

Remembered and loved more than ever.

The cloud of faces euphoric, Able to rise from hoi polloi, Lustrous robes and black, Smiles stretched as far apart. The pendulum swung to and fro, The past and the future, The past seemed trifling, The future glorious. I stood there, heart pounding, Tears asked consent, Pride cartes blanche denied, Walked to the podium to be a free man. Each step labored pain, Agony that carried dreams, Ever resounding village boy glories, This pain felt different, yet same. Mother cried out loud, Seemed so far, yet the dots connect, Voices echo day in and out, But the cash registers clinked. I vowed to return, The count kept climbing, Soon to realize, do I honor, My birthplace or my sprog’s. Old faces faded, old lands deformed, Visit did I all, having to return, Every tear of blood, father, Fertilized the fear, pain and anguish. Close was I to climb the stairs, Vowed like all others to return, Each step weighed a ton, I claimed progression. Flash, color and smile, Lost again in the crowd, Smi...

The essence of being alive is nothing but mere iniquitous. Every day is about opportunities to commit sin and then seek penance. Knowingly or unknowingly, he always commits sins beyond reprieve. He often ignores the numerous people who are interrelated to the decisions that he takes. He becomes selfish and narrows down the window when it involves his well being or image. On the contrary, when it is about others, he gets involved beyond a comeback. This leads to several emotional bonds that he shares with his ‘friends’. It always leads to the question, what is it that makes someone your friend? Interestingly it could be anything, ranging from simple companionship to complex materialistic pleasures. How does he classify his friends, more importantly does he have to do it? Emotions run deep in his veins and he try’s real hard not to show it. Its part of the image that he carries which does not let him be sensitive and weak. He looks at those people who laugh their heart out when they a...

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare...and life gets so hard you just don't care.  You feel so alone you just sit and cry...every second you wish you could die.  Then you start thinking who would care...if one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

sniff, sniff....     Do i smell a change yet again,     Promises are to be broken,     Ain't they men who cling onto them,     When did i call myself one.

Ask did i forgiveness to the people of my regime Curse did they to rule the lantern that led to the dark caves Speak did i words of kindness Mumb le did they silence of ignorance

Miss Haggerty, Miss Haggerty, Why does this mirror so reflect thy face, replied lady, mark the day thou mirror, flourish grandeur than mine. Miss Haggerty, Miss Haggerty, Why say so thou, replied lady, sheen of moon, is no glory if not fire. Miss Haggerty, Miss Haggerty, are you white or color, replied lady, i show you thy, not me, colors of white.

Finally a change that i am not too proud off....... stop yelling, i will feed you.

Fear of ancient plots, I conquered his empire, stayed till the demons post, to see me conspire.

Life, did I thank you for being there, For every soul you made me meet, For every heart you made me see, For every tear you made me drop. The waves never reached me, I stayed away from the shores. I till today don’t know why, I feared the purity in you. Emotions surfaced, none expressed, I sat looking at the hill, Besides the ocean, water, air, All seemed pale and cold. I lived for something, that I haven’t still got, The intricacy being I still don’t know, What to expect, and the sanity being, I know what not to expect. The colors of rainbow, brought a smile, Then I cried, for I do not know, That of all the seven, Which one am I?

To expect is a crime, To commit is guilt, To ignore is a virtue, To love is penance.

Keep the Spark   Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008   © Chetan Bhagat   Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.  The first day in college is one of them.  When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.    Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old...

Hear did i voices, of pain and agony, distance did i from people of misery, shame did i feel of sanity, disgust did i think of humanity.

Finally a change, the process began long before, but today being declared. Change is inevitable.

The cuckoo kept swaying to remind time, Time that never was my and will ever be, Yet the feeling sunk in, of oneness Changing rhythms of a beating heart. As beautiful as it may sound, Perception is a chameleon, The world lay its feet at deception, Few, very few passed without notice. I wasn’t one of them, Time played the cop, My role, the villain, Place, the hero. The urge to be among the crowd, Yet see the world through focus, Hit back hard, failed to notice, All, except few lived otherwise. The stage remains the same, Changed roles for leaders and followers, I started to lead, the me followed, Making myself believe in the I. As beautiful as it may sound, Perception is a chameleon, The world lay its feet at deception, Few, very few passed without notice.

Sleepless in Detroit, listening to the Gaga, I lay foot on an aisle that is new to me, The four walls no more protected, The roof no more sheltered. Paranoid, frenzy, don’t know which, Fear was definitely the highlight. Of whom, still remains a mystery, As mysterious it may sound, secrets do reveal, The emotions opened new avenues, And the search for a lady seemed to be the road, A lady that had no descriptions, Formed the shape of my imaginary vacuum. Color, creed, caste all no bar, Elements of a saint and perfect world, I kept no obstacles, yet I stumbled, To find the lady of my despair. Dreams set the stage, Where romance and love seemed to have no bounds, Every word felt like an arrow, Every breath wet the chin, Close, the word held no meaning, United, nor claimed any glories, One and unity seemed to be the chant, Pity, they remained only in dreams. No friend, no enemy helped, Voices echoed in my hall, Water pulled the strings, air played the accordi...

"I felt like crying for not getting what i wanted, when i saw the rich, the affluent, the famous, the glories and fame, the money and luxuries..then i looked back..i was born healthy..i lived in a house..ate food at the right time..studied..played..had friends..walked on the streets..stared at the moon..ran from the sun..and did a million other things for which i have never expressed gratitude"

" why did i not stop him, when i knew all this while, though dim, i shone the path ahead, pitch dark, not knowing where he head. He lost his way through the many astray, he cried,i ignored, he cried again, i claimed smiles hidden behind tears. now light knows nothing, but to follow dark."

A new shift, a new change, a new address.....

Oh boy, the start of the year couldn't have been better. Getting looted by a cab driver 2 hours past midnight could be called the ideal start to this new glorious year. For a $15 ride we ended up paying $100, lucky for me the bad luck was shared by one of my friend.  And so i end up in the hotel, doing what i know best, watching TV lying on the bed. The spectacle on the television was more grand and glorious than the pussy firecrackers that were on display in New York. Dubai, my second home threw a monstrous celebration which was a treat for the eyes. It was one of those new years which was more or so dry. In some ways that is a nice thing to happen. New year resolutions didn't seem to surface my mind and till date i haven't been able to decide on one. Either way, this year would be a turning point in life and hope in turns in the right direction. 

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.” Gloria Naylor