"The way the ball bounces.........."

Garaj baras pyaasi dharti par fir paani de Maula Chidiyo ko daane bachho ko gud-dhaani de Maula Do aur do ka jod hamesha chaar kaha hota hai Soch samjhne walo ko thodi nadani de Maula Fir roshan kar zehar ka pyala chamka nai salide Jhutto ki duniya mein sach ko taabani de Maula Fir murat se bahar aakar chaaro aur bikhar jaa Fir mandir ko koi meera deewani de Maula Tere hote koi kisi ki jaan ja dushman kyu ho Jeene walo ko marne ki aasani de Maula Jagjit Singh

Time and again I have done this, the roll call, to see who is new in the list and who have been the latest deletions. There has barely been a period which has seen deletions reappear for the last decade or so. This time it has been different. Some old faces resurfaced and connections were made, maybe not with the same intensity that existed but nonetheless they were reconnected. Partly the change I believe is the change that has come in me. I have changed dramatically and I can be sure of it because I have felt the difference. The great saga of expectations barely remains and puts me in a better state of affairs. Some even earned the integrity of retaining their previous roll numbers and classes. It always nice to know they still believed. But this post is for something else. I have always been the sole person responsible for these distances. I have created pain and distrusted their friendship. My so called mood swings played the critical role. My forceful absence of com...

7 years and counting...Happy Birthday Dad

There are some days you enjoy, laugh and have a good time. There are some others where you cry. There are some days when you are frustrated and restless and the list goes on. But, there are some days when a smile comes across your face and you don’t know from where it is coming. It’s just there. Thank you Lil Sis.

Once lived a king who adore his reign, He led wars, signed peace, All for his love, the kingdom, He lived for the sheer glory of his love. Then came the wise, the soldiers, The wise spelt the order of the day, They showed the thorny path, well disguised, That none can stake claim for the kingdom. Ignorant, the king failed to change, His love grew fierce and wild, He lost before the immortals, Till today, the kingdom calls out for love, Sadly the king failed to realize.

‘I’ claims attention, orders gallantry, ‘We’ chose to obey, succumb, ‘I’ paid the bills, chose not to pay, With wealth that ‘He’ created. ‘I’ set boundaries, dictated terms, That ‘We’ dared to cross, But then he from ‘We’ didn’t like the show, Decided to orchestrate a new symphony ‘Us’. ‘Us’ stayed away from ‘We’, Hid from ‘We’ and ‘I’, They shared land with ‘We’, broke bread with ‘We’ ‘We’ never became ‘Us’, humility beckons. Some managed to stay with ‘We’ and yet be ‘Us’, Others chose to be mute and transparent They despise ‘I’, so they narrate a story, Thrilling scenes, thinner wallet. ‘Us’ wages a war, ‘We’ fall prey, ‘We get betrayed for deeds ‘Us’ does, ‘We’ pay a price that our children suffer, ‘I’ roars and chooses not to pay the bills. ‘Us’ is fed, ‘We’ have to work, “I’ shines in pride, for actions, redemption of respect, Day may pass, ‘We’ no longer exists, and children suffer, Pray do ‘We’ that ‘I’ be gentle, for al...

kaisi udaasi tere chehre pe chaayi, Jo haste haste teri aankhen nam aayi; Masoom se is dil ko yu na sata, kuch toh hain, kam se kam tu khud ko bata.                                            Source - Lil Sis

I seek no penance; for all that I do, I claim no sympathy, for sins that occurred, Minority we form, religious we differ, Believe in Salah and bow before him. You, the majority, vibrant and joyous, Sing kirtans and bhajans, doing yagna, pujas, Sing in unison, believe in solidarity, Sing praises of community, yet remain divided. We live in your shadows, of landlord masters, The fields, forests, huts, the fear, the guilt, Insults, all that I hear of ‘cision and hair, Food we eat; wives that we hold, culture that we breathe. The good ignored, the evil emphasized, Voices rose lost in the crowd, for the fear, We lay low, none to back, we played the mouse, The grounds claimed secular, but none guarded. All headed into one another, some sweat while others bled, But all lead life less glam, more miserable, All denied, we reached nowhere, Every step bore a weight, eventually we felt tired. Set aside, work, study, health, Mockery is all I he...

Why haven’t you been shown the shores? When I have managed to cross half across, I build the key to heaven, When you haven’t yet laid the plan? The suns met the ruling planets, The moon are still hid in their houses, Why is your house buried in the crowd? When I know most in town? Am I too weird to be kept at bay? I grew the way you did, I never complained about the way, Because I never cared to look back! Every house on the street seems the same, Then what is it that needs to be different, I could be tall, small, heavy or thin, But in the end is that, all that matters. I promise happiness, love, With shortness of none, if only excess, But shouldn’t complain, will I get an idol? For the temple that I built, For whom prayers are yet to be coined. I boast a glorious past, with friends and foe alike, None I claim close, but the need for closure, Is what I seek? I claim no wealth, no external beauty, All I claim is a heart that g...

There lies no more excitement in knowing you. Off to new shores to seek new faces. 

Years later today I received a call which would have been no big deal some time ago. The sheer expressions of joy made me smile something that I had been longing for a while. It is quite ironic to see myself running away from the dwelling that I once worshiped. The wood where I march today is lawless and unfair. The town claims justice and order. The town is less of surprises and more of peace. The woods are beautiful as they stand beyond comprehension. The woods are eventful and full of surprises. They are never short of excitement and thrills. I really cannot claim to have more lies about the woods. Nonetheless the town is not the place I did be. 

As eventful as it may seem, this week was certainly different. It was silent among the several errands that I ran (not used to running errands on a weekday) during the week. The clock seemed to stretch every second to shame the minute. I have been good and keeping my word and yet it seemed slow. Neither has voice nor video faced any ban nor did they mute. Attempts were made to reconnect. Attempt because it was not fully completed. The chords were strung but no music played. Some more attempts will be made soon. Attempts to make some big decisions were undertaken. None succeeded, though it should have by now. Attempts were made to converse and shun the solitude. Again I tried but did not exactly know what to talk about. This week seemed to be a week of attempts. It tried connecting the dots but every node made me realize something. I am not exactly sure if it is something good or bad, but definitely regret. Over what is a question that I am still trying to figure? Will it sta...

Here on the rocks of Fabula, I stand, Seek solace in solitude I wear, Gushing winds, splashing water, None can growl loud to stir my sleep. Deep in sleep, I still ruled the palace, All bowed before, all praised after, Feeling important, I smiled, A smile that even today dries the tears. The borders without bounds, seemed hard, Global was not I in any dimension, I preached reality and followed theory, I failed presumably with no assets to claim, Fabula lay firm, and I firm on it. Lost in translation, I was left alone, Seeking no companion, I forgive my sins, For one a sinner isn’t one if he commits none. New year 2012.